Glorious Girls

AUSTIN, Ind. (WDRB Fox 41)--A mother and her three children were found dead inside their Indiana home on Friday. Police say they all suffered gunshot wounds to the head--but police are not looking for any suspects. (Link)

And then:

Below are the names of the deceased and the preliminary causes of death.

* Amanda Bennett, female, 30, 310 New York Street, Austin, IN. Preliminary cause of death, gunshot wound to the head area and smoke inhalation.
* Jasmine Abbott, female, 14, 310 New York Street, Austin, IN. Preliminary cause of death, gunshot wound to the head area.
* Katelynn Bennett, female, 9, 310 New York Street, Austin, IN. Preliminary cause of death, gunshot wound to the head area and smoke inhalation.
* Ryan Bennett, male, 4, 310 New York Street, Austin, IN. Preliminary cause of death, gunshot wound to the head area.

SARCASM ON:
Well, we should all be relieved. None of them suffered the worst possible crime. Amanda, well, she is an adult, so she does not matter. Jasmine, 14, shot in the head and killed. Sure sounds better than, for example, having consensual sex with a 30-year-old man. THAT would have ruined her life. Being shot in the head and killed is minor by comparison. Katelynn, 9, well, a 20-year-old could have licked her kitty and brought her to a catastrophic orgasm that would have ruined her life. I am sure her extended family is happy that she was shot in the head and killed rather than suffering one of those life-ruining orgasms. Ryan, 4, well, a neighbor could have stroked his little penis and given him an erection. Could have even put that erection in his mouth, surely destroying poor Ryan's life. Fortunately he was only shot in the head and killed.
SARCASM OFF:

Then intent of this post is not to mock or belittle Amanda, Jasmine, Katelynn, or Ryan. The intent to show how idiotic it is when people refer to child molestation or violations of statutory rape laws as the "worst possible crime". I cannot even remember how many times I have heard an incident of a kid being fondled by an adult referred to as "a parent's worst nightmare". Maybe I am out of touch, but to me, clit licking does not seem as bad as being shot in the head. If it were my 9-year-old daughter, and I had to choose between her having her clit licked, or her being shot in the head, I think I would go with the clit lick. How about you?

Melissa Huckaby, former Sunday School teacher, was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole, for the kidnapping and murder of 8-year-old Sandra Cantu. Read all about it. Why do christian heterosexuals persist in doing things like this to children?

Apparently Huckaby drugged Sandra with the drug alprazolam (used to treat anxiety disorders) strangled Sandra with an improvised noose, and was initially accused of sexually assaulting Sandra with "a foreign object" (the suggestion was that Huckaby hit Sandra's genitals with a rolling pin). Then Huckaby stuffed Sandra's body in a suitcase and chucked it into an irrigation pond.

However, "The sexual assault charge was dropped as part of the plea deal Huckaby made with prosecutors to avoid the death penalty in May." Huckaby went so far as to say during the sentencing that "she did not suffer, and I did not sexually molest her." I am sure that contention is very important to Huckaby. It is one thing to murder a child (can still hold head high), but to have sexually molested her is a whole different matter (must hang head in shame). Presumably the injuries to Sandra's genitals came after her death, so she did not actually "suffer".

I have no doubt Sandra's parents are greatly relieved that Sandra was only drugged, strangled, stuffed in a suitcase, and chucked into an irrigation pond, and that she was not sexually molested, because as we know, child molestation is The Worst Possible Crime.

zlurker

The alternate title for this is "Well, At Least She Was Not Molested". No doubt, the parents of Jessica McCagh are relieved and heartened by the knowledge that she was not the victim of The Worst Possible Crime.

Oh, you are not familiar with Jessica's ordeal? Well, you can read about it here, or here is a excerpt:

Stewart Blackburn, 18, was convicted by a British court on Wednesday of the horrendous act, prompted by his girlfriend's threats to leave him.

Jessica McCagh, 17, suffered burns to more than 80 per cent of her body in April this year and died in hospital.

Blackburn now faces life in prison for setting her ablaze and then holding the bedroom door shut, leaving her no way to escape.

I think Jessica's parents probably rest easier at night secure in the knowledge that Jessica was merely burned alive, and never suffered something truly terrifying, such as consensual sex with a 30-year-old man.

zlurker

Those who know me online know that I enjoy sarcasm. My next few posts are going to feature sarcasm heaped on sarcasm. As good as these posts might be, it is unlikely that they will surpass what I consider my finest piece of writing, Is Schadenfreude bad? That post is worth a read for those new to zlurker's world.

zlurker

A recent Girl Chat post by Dissident, a hebephile—a person primarily attracted to adolescent girls, got me thinking—thinking about something that once bothered me. What once bothered me was that I did not really understand the heterosexual attraction, or the heterosexual orientation. I should note, that I no longer think it is important for people to understand others sexual orientations. I am not sure we can ever really understand an orientation that we do not share. I mean, how many genuinely heterosexual men can understand the allure of having another man's penis in their anus or of swallowing another man's semen? I do not. Of course I am sure most people, including many Girl Chat posters, do not really understand the erotic allure of a toddler girl with a pacifier in her mouth and a diaper around her waist. On the other hand, I feel adamant that we should all be tolerance and accepting of others orientations—anything less is just bigotry.

In an airport recently I found a discarded newspaper. Bored, I flipped through it. I noticed an article from one of the paper's writers, which begins with an account of something that happened a few years ago where a little girl less than a year old arrived at a hospital with nine broken bones--injuries presumable inflicted by her abusive parents or guardians. Then I recalled one of Western society's most cherished cultural memes, that child molestation is the Worst Possible Crime. With time to kill, I started thinking...

Later when I got home I did some research. A few Yahoo and Google searches revealed:

"child molestation, the worst possible crime", courtesy of a religious man
"worst possible crime, (molesting a child)", relating to Michael Jackson
"the worst possible crime you can imagine", regarding a case of incest.

Oh really?

I am glad people do not normally have to make a decision like the one I am about to setup up as hypothetical situation, but the answer people give, or their inability or unwillingness to even answer, will be every bit as telling.

You drop your 9-month-old daughter off at her babysitter's home and you head to work. Suddenly you start seeing stars and passout. You awaken bound to a chair in a room with eerie lights and with two buttons within your reach, labeled "A" and "B". A voice then presents the following to you.

Press button A: Your babysitter's brother, visiting from out of town, will find himself alone with your 9-month-old daughter for 15 minutes today. He will remove her diaper, rub the tip of his penis over her genitals while masturbating, ejaculate, wipe up his semen, lick you daughter's genitals for a few minutes, then replace her diaper. You daughter will fuss briefly during this time, but the man gives her her pacifier and talks sweetly to her, calming her.

Press Button B: Your babysitter's brother, visiting from out of town, will find himself alone with your 9-month-old daughter for 15 minutes today. Annoyed by her crying, he yells at her to be quiet. When she does not, he starts to take her out of the room, but she spits up on him. Enraged, he throws her across the room and she bounces off a table, screaming. He then kicks her hard while screaming "shut the fuck up!" Two hours later you receive a call from the local hospital that your daughter has been admitted and that you should come immediately. You arrive to find she has a fractured skull, collapsed lung, and several other broken bones.

If you do not choose within 30 seconds, the choice will be made for you at random. Which do you choose? Is child molestation really the worst possible crime?

“The Piano” is nominally a love story set in 1850s New Zealand. The movie is of interest to Girl Lovers primarily because of the performance of 10 or 11-year-old Anna Paquin, in a role for which she won the 1994 Oscar for Best Actress in a Supporting Role.

There is one scene I find particularly interesting, and it does not feature Anna Paquin at all. It takes place by a lake in the New Zealand jungle, where the character George Baines, an English expatriate living in New Zealand seems to be washing some clothing. The dialog, a mix of English and the Maori language (with English subtitles) is a little hard to follow, but goes something like this:

Middle-aged Maori woman to George Baines “You need a wife. It's no good having... it sulk between your legs for the rest of its life.”

Maori man (possibly a homosexual or bisexual) to George Baines: “You no worry (unintelligible), I save you.”

George Baines: “I have a wife.”

Maori man: “(unintelligible) I save her too”

Middle-aged Maori woman to Maori man: “Quite! Balls were wasted on you.”

Someone: “And you would know.”

Middle-aged Maori woman: “Where's your wife?”

George Baines: “My wife... Oh, she has a life of her own... in England.”

Middle-aged Maori woman: “Must be ugly... for you to run away. You need another wife. Such a treasure should not sleep on your stomach at night.”

So why is this scene so interesting? Well, because it is the one and only scene in the whole movie featuring naked children. Three naked, cute, happy, smiling prepubescent, Maori girls, all around 8, 9, or 10 years of age, are in fact shown several times during this brief scene.

What to make of this? Is it just coincidence, or something more? Is it that the woman seeks to entice Baines into her bed as a prelude to becoming his new wife, but realizes he is unlikely to find her attractive, so she uses the naked girls as a way to arouse him? Or is it that she is trying to find a husband for one of the girls? Or is it something else?

There are a small number of losers out there who try to perpetuate the myth that people like me and others who participate in support forums such as Girl Chat and Visions of Alice (VoA) are "Child Rape Advocates". While we do sometimes talk about the sexuality of children, that is not the main focus of our support forums. Sometimes we share girl moments. Recently I came across one of the most touching girl moments I have read in a long time.

From the Girl Chat poster Paedestrian:

Paedestrian, will you be my father?

When she asked me, I was only 17 and was soon heading off to college. I had to say "no", and it crushed me.

That was more than half my life ago, and thinking of it still brings a tear to my eye. I loved her as if she were my own, but a 17 year old heading off to college is not the father a 4 year old needs. She had already been abandoned by one father; I couldn't be the second.

I told her that I could be her "big brother" and that meant I loved her and would care for her as much as I could, but I couldn't live with her, and would soon be off to college. She understood and accepted my explanation gracefully, but I could tell that her disappointment was as deep as my sorrow.

She has become a beautiful young woman, and I still love her as if she were my first daughter. In so many ways she was.

Yes, believe it or not, there are people out there that would consider this to be consider this to be "child rape advocacy". Losers.

Recently on Girl Chat a poster attributed to Mark Twain

By the age of seven a girl's candlestick-holder is ready for the candle

Twain is widely regarded by Girl Lovers to be a fellow Girl Lover, and I found this "quote" to be very funny, so I decided to do a little research. Twain did in fact suggest this, but with somewhat different wording.

This idea comes from Mark Twain's Letters from the Earth, Letter VIII, where Twain, while heaping scorn upon biblical prohibitions against adultery, wrote

The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse with the other sex sexually, at any time of life.

---

During twenty-three days in every month (in absence of pregnancy) from the time a woman is seven years old till she dies of old age, she is ready for action, and competent. As competent as the candlestick is to receive the candle. Competent every day, competent every night. Also she wants that candle -- yearns for it, longs for it, hankers after it, as commanded by the law of God in her heart.

Seven, is heaven. -zlurker

Warning: expletive laden post follows.

I had to make a stop at the supermarket on my way home from work today. As I am making my way through the store I notice a man with a very attractive girl, I would guess she was about seven, tagging along. Just looking at the guy, he did not strike me as the type of guy I would want to have anything to do with. There was just something about him. He was neatly groomed and wearing a dress shirt and tie, but there was some aura of... maybe arrogance about him that really bothered me. I assumed the girl was his daughter.

A few minutes later I saw them again in the produce section. I made eye contact with her and smiled as I walked by, but the look on her face never changed. She just kind of followed me with her eyes for a few seconds. A minute later I was grabbing some carrots, and looked her way again when she reached out and touched something on a display. The asshole barks at her in a sort of hushed tone, so as not to attract too much attention, "DON'T TOUCH THAT!" followed a second later by "GET AWAY!". She did not immediately move, so he follows up a few seconds later with a slower, more aggressive, more threatening "GET-A-WAY!" at which point she stepped away from whatever it was she touched. (Never once in the three times I saw them did she speak a word to him.)

<rant>

I was fucking pissed! This asshole was probably two inches taller then me, and twenty pounds heavier (twenty pounds of muscle, not fat) then me, but I was really close to walking over and saying to him, "Dude! She's your daughter, not your dog!" I did not, and as I was paying for my purchases I was second guessing myself over whether I should or should not have said something. But on the way home, I decided it was probably best that I did not say anything, because a dick-headed-fuck like this guy is precisely the type of controlling bully who would take it out on the little girl later for having drawn attention to him and "making" him yell at her in public. I feel sorry for her.

That piece-of-shit-motherfucking-asshole does not deserve to spend time with such a beautiful little girl. I hope his death, whenever it comes, is slow and painful.

</rant>

There. Now I feel a little better.

The movie - Stop Loss. It is a decent movie, but of no particular interest to Girl Lovers.
The Scene - An officer speaks to a busload of soldiers fresh back from Iraq and heading into a weekend of leave. He tells them is a slow, serious, authoritative voice:

Here's a list of things you will not do while on leave.
You will not drink and drive. If you pick up a young lady, let her drive. Let her get the DUI.
You will not beat up civilians.
You will not fuck anyone underage. I say again, you will not fuck anyone underage.
You will not beat your wife.
You will not beat your kids.
You will not kick your dog.
Am I understood?

Notice the one thing he explicitly tells them twice? I did. I served in the military. I remember that hebephilic desire (erotic interest in young teenage girls) was often openly expressed. I remember what I, and some others in my unit would often say as we ogled the 12 or 13-year-old daughters of career military men, or the 12 or 13-year-old native girls we saw off base in Asia: "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed."

So what is it? Is the U.S. military a gathering ground for minor attracted persons... for hebephiles... for "predators"? Or is hebephilic interest simply normal? That is my feeling, by the way, that hebephilic interests are normal and common, even if not commonly expressed.

For a while now I have served little girls. I serve as their companion, their playmate, their friend. I serve my daughters, I would like to think, as an exceptionally loving, kind, compassionate father. I serve my little nieces, girls in the neighborhood, and my daughters' friends as well.

Late last year I had the honor of starting to serve my fellow Girl Lovers by working as a moderator at a prominent Girl Love forum. I hope to continue with this work for a long time to come.

As a final note, I think I also serve as a thorn-in-the-side to certain individuals with self-esteem problems. Oh well.

I borrowed the book, Letters to a Bullied Girl, by Olivia Gardner, from a friend recently. There are some interesting letters from former bullies, such as this from Steven:

When I was in middle school and high school, I was particularly mean to a classmate. Ruthlessly mean in fact. She was from a poorer family, heavier in size, had few friends. An easy target. The torment lasted far too long, probably through my sophmore year of high school.

My behavior plagued me far longer than the four or five years I bullied my classmate. After much introspection, I know why I did it. The details aren't as important as the message: bullies feel better about themselves by picking on others. The bullying has nothing to do with the abused, and everything to do with the abusers.

I am ashamed of my behavior, just as your bullies may one day be ashamed of themselves. But I have learned from it. If there is one thing that I would like to say to my classmate today, it is that I was a weak person then, full of self-loathing and with a black hole in my heart. How sorry I am for not being a strong enough person to see the damage I was causing...

...damage such as this...

...I've been thinking about younger boys, and because there younger than me worrying that maybe I'm a pedo and what it means for the rest of my life because everyone hates pedos and it's making me miserable. - Kevin, 12 years old.

Xavier von erck, sues, stitches77, and violet leaves all have something in common: they are like Steve was in middle school and high school... they have yet to develop a sense of decency.

zlurker

There are a small number of assholes out there who try to perpetuate the myth that people like me and others who participate in support forums such as Girl Chat and Visions of Alice (VoA) are "Child Rape Advocates". While we do sometimes talk about the sexuality of children, that is not the main focus of our support forums. Here is something from my own life I want to share.

I have six LGs in my life that are really special to me. This weekend I had the honor of spending some time with four of them.

On another note, over two years ago I made a post called What is an LGF? There were several good replies, but the one that always stuck with me was by LGsinmyheart, who wrote

When she says "I love you" and you know she means it.
When I say "I love you" and she knows I mean it.

That is a high standard, and one I have always kept in mind. Well here is what happened when I was saying goodbye to one of these fours girls this weekend. I hugged her, like usual, and told her quietly but in my most sincere voice, "I love you". Her reply was very special. It was not some reply of rote repetition, because she has never said it before to me. But at the same time, there was no hesitation or delay between my expression of love for her, and her reply to me: "I love you too!"

She and I had had a lot of fun that day, but that one hug and two sentences we shared when saying goodbye made for one of the greatest girl moments I have ever had.

If you consider this child rape advocacy, then you're the one who's fucked up, not me.

zlurker

I couldn't help feeling a bit of Schadenfreude when I read about the trouble Chris Ortloff got himself into. Back when Chris represented me in Albany, I never would have thought we had in common a sexual attraction to young girls. Oh, you've not heard about Chris's escapades? Well, you can read all about it here or here. If what they have accused you of is true, Chris, that I've got to say you sure were ambitious. A 61-year-old man arranging a threesome with 11 and 12-year-old sisters! That's hot Chris, I've got to admit it, really hot. (I've fantasized about such things myself, but note the key word here is fantasized.) I mean, what could be hotter? Well, actually, an orgy with an entire kindergarten class at an all-girls elementary school would be hotter, but that's not very realistic, now is it Chris? Of course, what you had in mind wasn't very realistic either. How were these girls going to get to the motel? Did you send them money for a cab ride? Were they going to ride their bikes? Did they walk by the hotel on their way home from school? Was mommy or daddy going to drop them off for a few hours? I wonder where your wife thought you were going while you headed to that motel? BTW, Chris, prior to your arrest, did your wife know you were sexually attracted to young girls? My wife knows about me, in case you are wondering. She doesn't like it very much, I'm sure, but she deals with it somehow.

Hey, at least you were prepared with "condoms, lubricants, vibrators and a camera". I won't fault you there. You were well prepared. Were you a boy scout once? Condoms. That's good. Puberty hits some girls pretty early, and it would've been very irresponsible to get one or both (you stud, you!) of those girls pregnant. And honestly, if I were planning a threesome with 11 and 12-year-old sisters, I'd want a camera on hand too. But still Chris, you gotta admit that what you planned was very foolish in today's society. You'd have been much better off if you just did like me and masturbated regularly to legal pictures of 11 and 12-year-old girls who model online. Yeah, I'm sure it's no where near as exciting as a threesome with 11 and 12-year-old sisters, but it's a lot safer, and legal.

I suppose it kinda sucks though to be arrested for trying to meet imaginary girls. But hey, you and your cronies in Albany passed these laws, right? I know, I know, you really didn't think those laws applied to you. They were only meant to apply to people like me, right? You know, the people that you and your cronies like to call "predators", or even "pedophiles". (Scary word, I know, but I think we can say it here.) But don't worry, you're not the only person with power and connections who think the laws they pass are really only meant to apply to others. Do the names Mark Foley, Larry Craig, or Elliot Spitzer mean anything to you? But the problem, Chris, is that me and most of the people I hang out with online aren't predators. And while a lot of us call ourselves pedophiles, we don't use the word the way Albany (and Washington) politicians use it. We are really Girl Lovers. Yes, we are sexually attracted to young girls, but that's only part of our attraction. We actually love them, and fall in love with them. We like to spend time with them even though we know we won't be having sex with them. Did you ever think about meeting these two imaginary girls for a picnic? Ever think about taking them for a visit to the local amusement park? Taking them out to a movie, or for lunch? I hope you were at least planning on having a pizza delivered to that motel room. Do you know what their favorite pizza toppings are, Chris? Yeah, I know they were just imaginary girls, Chris, but you didn't know that until just a few days ago.

Anyway, I know it's kind of difficult to arrange even non-sexual activities with young girls. The pedo-hysteria that irresponsible politicians and irresponsible media-types have whipped up makes for a climate where parents are gripped by irrational fear, and where people like myself, who'd like to be open about their attraction, have to hide it. But hey, look on the bright side. Since you were, up until this last Monday, a NYS Parole Board commissioner, if you are convicted and sentenced to prison, you'll know exactly how to sweet-talk the parole board when you come up for parole. Oh, and here's another thing to be grateful for Chris. A little research on the Internet shows that you weren't exactly considered gay friendly. So at least you can take comfort in the public knowing that you planned to meet imaginary 11 and 12-year-old sisters for sex, and not imaginary 11 and 12-year-old brothers, which would have been embarrassing and hypocritical.

I was doing a little Googling a few days ago and came across the Tampa Pirate, the blogging identity of someone named Mark Spence. Interestingly, Marks's most recent post (as of today) informs us, among other things, that, "A vote for Obama is a vote for terrorist."

I guess I should not have been surprised then with Mark's older post, Pedophile Blog Alert, which concerns itself with none other than yours truly. (Or perhaps I should say it concerns itself with a former incarnation of Glorious Girls on Blogger, back in the days when Blogger permitted law-abiding American citizens to post constitutionally protected speech on their site. Now, those of us with controversial opinions rely on Insanejournal and the Swedes to post constitutionally protected speech.) It seems that Mark Spence has a few problems with facts, writing, "He talks about how turned on he gets by girls between the age of 2-14, and not only has had sex with them, but fantasizes about having sex with them." I am afraid I have to take issue with the "not only has had sex with them" part. That statement is both false, and was never stated or implied by me anywhere, at anytime. I find it humorous that the way he phrases that sentence ("and not only has had sex with them, but fantasizes about having sex with them") makes it sound as if fantasizing about having sex with a young girl is worse than actually doing it.

Two days later, Mark feels the need to equate me with sexual predators in a post where he advocates selective suspension of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Later some Mark Spence groupie calling herself Stitches77 states in a response that, "I believe there is NO other crime that even compares to the sexual molestation of a child." Yeah. I guess murder and genocide are minor and inconsequential compared to kiddie fiddling.

I poster on VoA had this to say about Oprah getting pwn3d by Pedobear.

Incredible, this was all a joke by anonymous. She essentially got duped into saying '9000 penises' on air as a DragonBall Z/4chan joke. Over at her forum there is a thread about this 80 pages long with women saying everything from making laws to killing pedophiles. This is an excellent example of people reacting to fear, with no information and the incredible age gap. All the Oprah organization had to do was type '9000 penises' in google to see this is all a massive joke. If this doesn't prove how poor the standard of media is now days nothing will.

I am a little conflicted, this adds to the complete misinformation about pedophiles but it does point out the sheer stupidity of talk shows and news organizations. I wonder if she will follow up on this considering the massive amounts of youtube featuring Oprah/Dragonball Z videos with her yelling '9000 penises'.

People like Oprah, who have no interest in critical thought or accuracy, are highly susceptible to this type of manipulation. Hint. Hint. Hint.

Oprah tries whip up fear and hysteria in a show about sexual predators on the Internet, and she ends up getting pwn3d by Pedobear! Justice is sweet.

The YouTube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGyKmvQesgs speaks for itself.

There are a small number of assholes out there who try to perpetuate the myth that people like me and others who participate in support forums such as Girl Chat and Visions of Alice (VoA) are "Child Rape Advocates". While we do sometimes talk about the sexuality of children, that is not the main focus of our support forums. Recently an new poster at Girl Chat, j_k, introduced himself by posting a girl moment.

'Hey, let me sit there.'

I open an eye.
It's my friend Rocky, dropping by again on a perfect Sunday afternoon.
It looks like she wants to play.

'Come on, come on, move over.' Gentle punches on my shoulder.
'No way! I was here first, so blpth.'
I sprawl down into the recliner and blow her a raspberry.
'Muuuu...' she pouts, her lips sticking out like a little duckling's beak.
She looks at me sourly for a while, then her face brightens, and she climbs up on me.

Now, Rocky is an incorrigible tomboy
(it's Raquel on her birth certificate, but she'll kick you in the shin for calling her that)
and she's never been much for cuddling.
She'd much rather be chased down and caught and bear-hugged up high,
screaming in delight all the while...
but here she is now, settling down into my lap, stretching her bare legs out on top of mine.

She takes both my hands and places them firmly over her belly, fingers interlocking.
'Seatbelt,' she tells me matter-of-factly.
I look down, resting my chin lightly on her head.
Her apple-scented black hair just brushes her sun-brown shoulders.
Her hands are still holding mine, and her skin is warm and dry.
I can feel the gentle rise and fall of her breathing.
She's a lot quieter than usual today...

I give her bellybutton a little tickle with my pinky finger.
'Hey, Rocket. You okay?'
'Hmm...?'
'You came over here just to sleep on me?'
'I'm not sleeping.'
A few more minutes of silence. I peek at her face.
Her half-closed eyes look almost dreamy, but yes, she's not sleeping.
(I guess she just wanted to be held?
Any time you want, as long as you want -- I'll be here for you, I promise)

I could stay like this forever,
with this dear nine-year-old nestled warmly against me...
but it's maybe ten minutes before she disengages herself and jumps up,
extending her hand to me with the widest bright grin on her face.
'Well, let's go!'
And we go running down to the park, and we play until evening
(But that's a story for another day.)

------

Hello all, my name is Jonathan K.*, and I am a girl-lover.
(Phew! I've never said it out loud like that before)
I feel truly blessed that I can call several wonderful children my friends,
and all I want is to be able to do well by them,
that they may all be better persons for having known me.

I've been trying to write myself an intro post for a while now, but it just won't take ;_;
Just wanted to share this little story from last weekend, so I guess this is my introduction... I'll be in your care *bows*

(*) No, it's not quite my real name
(moderators: don't worry, all potentially identifying details will be suitably fudged) --
points for anyone who can identify the obscure GL-related reference though ;)

If you consider this child rape advocacy, then you're the one who's fucked up, not me.

zlurker

There are a small number of assholes out there who try to perpetuate the myth that people like me and others who participate in support forums such as Girl Chat and Visions of Alice (VoA) are "Child Rape Advocates". While we do sometimes talk about the sexuality of children, that is not the main focus of our support forums. A poster at VoA recently started a post with the title "Alright, now I am just plain downright depressed!!!" This is what he wrote:

I was just sitting here looking through my old pictures and I found the very first picture I took of my lgf (little girl friend) before I even really knew her. She was a very very cute happy little 6 year old girl at the time and I captured perfectly in the picture her amazing radiant beauty that drew me in so strongly. Funny to think that at that point I had no idea the amazing relationship we would grow to have over the next few years. A relationship of complete and total pure love. A relationship where every time she would see me she would come running yelling my name so incredibly happy to see me, and I so incredibly happy to see her with tears of joy coming to my eyes because it felt so amazing to be so loved by one of the most beautiful people ever to exist! A relationship where when I would drive by her school she would jump up on the fence and scream my name and wave franticly as I drove by. A relationship where when I'd go to her house she couldn't go to bed without me saying a prayer with her and tucking her in where she could sleep with the multiple stuffed animals that I gave her that she loved so dearly. She spent many hours sitting on my lap and talking to me, or watching movies. We would walk around town together and visit the toy store.

Just the most amazing and sweet little angel that I have been blessed beyond words to have had such an incredible close relationship with. Having no idea how much that very first picture I snapped of her would mean to me 4 years later when she would be 10 years old and finding other things to be more interested in than me. I am so extremely happy thinking about the absolutely beautiful relationship we have had, but as I look at that first picture next to the one I took just a few days ago and realize how much she has grown up in the 4 wonderful years that I have known her, and seeing how we have grown further apart and do not experience the sweet little moments we used to so often, I for the first time am finding myself just on the verge of crying my freakin' eyes out in total depression realizing she is growing up. Why in the hell do they have to grow up? And why so damn fast??? I have been the happiest I have ever been in my entire life for the past 4 years, but lately I started to realize that I am just not happy anymore, and only just now did it occur to me that it is because I have all but lost my little angel! She is still happy to see me, but it is just nowhere near the kind of happy that it used to be and that's what makes me sad. I guess I knew this would come eventually. I just really hoped it wouldn't go by so fast. She is still an amazingly beautiful little girl, but due to this damn aging crap, she will just never be the same, and that just kills me inside! I can't stand it! I am just so sad lonely and depressed right now. There are a couple other little girls I know that I could become close friends with, but there is just something special between me and this girl. Even her mom told me one time that our relationship is special and that it's like her daughter and I knew each other before this life. And I definitely think there may be some truth to that.

I'm sure only you guys truly understand what I am going through. Especially those of you older GLs who have had it happen many times as you have gone through the years. It sucks doesn't it? Almost makes you not want to get involved with any other girls just to save you the extreme heartache that comes when this stage arrives. I am happy for her that she is going to grow up and have a wonderful life, but gosh dammit am I gonna miss her!!! The love of my life so far. I love her more than anything in the world.

If you consider this child rape advocacy, then you're the one who's fucked up, not me.

zlurker